Happy Valentine's Day

      I just want to take a minute to say to my friends and family that I truly love you all. I am not one to show how I feel except to my mom and dad, Don, and of course my baby girls. But so many people I know have touched my life. My friend Leenie for example. I miss her a lot. She lives in Florida now and I am in Virginia so we don't ever get to meet. Leenie is very outgoing so she has a lot of friends. God has blessed her with such a positive and joyful spirit and an unshakable faith. She has some real stress in her life but her joy is contagious to all who know her. Her children are blessed to have her in her life. (Though I am glad she is not having anymore...man does she cry a lot when she is pregnant:) She will laugh at that, because she knows its so true.
    I have three sisters and a brother. Two of my sisters have passed away. The oldest, Donna and I had a real connection. She was like another mom to me in many ways. But even better. I believe much of my confidence was instilled in me by Donna. No matter what I did, Donna thought it was great. When I made something for her she was always so touched. She made me feel special. There are no words really to explain how she fed love and caring into my spirit. Later in life when someone would treat me poorly, I had the confidence to stand up for myself. I remember cancelling a date with my boyfriend in high school when he came slightly drunk to pick me up. I told him if he had to drink to go out with me then I did not want to go out with him. I may have had no confidence walking down the high school hallway, but it came out when push came to shove. I love and miss Donna every day of my life.
   I have always been close with my mom and dad. Mom and dad have always done the best they could for us kids. They loved me unconditionally. They have always been here for me, no matter what. I think that is the most important part of parenting. Hopefully I have loved my children as well as they love me.
    My sister Judy is the sister I am closest to in age. Growing up I always looked up to her, but honestly we really had nothing much to do with each other. As we grew into adults I always wished we were closer but for most of our lives we have been very different. In the past few years we have gotten much closer. I always admired how easily she makes friends and always has people to go out and do things with. My inherent shyness often keeps me at a distance from people. I am thankful that God gives us second chances with people. Even though we really never "got" each other when we were younger we love and get each other better now. I love my sister and hope that we have so many more years to share our lives together.
     Then there is my husband Don. We have had a tough life together, really. But sticking with a person through thick and thin has its consequences. You get a real unconditional love for each other. You become friends. I can't really imagine life without my husband. My prayer is that now that we have worked out the bumps, that we have many healthy years ahead to enjoy the smoother road we are traveling.
     I don't have words to say about my girls. They know I love them fiercely. I am like the momma bear that just wants to protect them from all of life's ills. But because I can not do that I just have to trust God with them and cover them with prayer. If I go to say more about them this blog will be waaaaay to long. Just suffice it to say that Hannah and Sarah are amazing young women. Each love Jesus as their Lord and Savior. So in that respect I know I taught them something well. Each are in different places in their journey, but to me as long as they are on the journey with Him I know they will be ok.
    Don't think for a minute I forgot about Kevin. I love him and think about him daily. I pray for him all the time. When Don talks with him he tells me all about what Kevin is up to. But for some reason I want to call and see how he doing etc... but I just don't.  Its back to that inner shyness. (Probably why when going to CT I call people at the last minute.) I hope Kevin knows how much I love him. Wish he lived closer, I miss seeing him and just hanging out together as a family.
   I can not mention any more people for fear of leaving someone out. My husbands family has become my own. In many ways I have a closeness with them that I don't have with my extended family. I do think and pray for my aunts and uncles often. I am getting some new friends entering my life in VA that I am thankful for, as well as my CT friends that I miss. I look forward to my summer visits, even if its a short visit because I get to reconnect with my former Northville and Assembly "family".
    So on this Valentine's Day I am thankful for those I love and for those who love me. I am most thankful to my Savior. If I have not said it yet today, I am thankful Lord for the day you saved me. I pray for those reading this, that you will encounter the perfect love that only comes from our Creator.

The journey continues...

        It's been a while since I have had the time to write. I have not been this busy, exhausted and energized in a long time. Busy does not even cut it. Right now I have two students I tutor, and I work study hall most Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now, there is my new job selling Pampered Chef. All this besides my normal full time job of teaching. The tutoring has been helping us because I have been putting it towards food and not having to dip into savings as much. I know in this economy we are not the only ones that are struggling to make ends meet. And honestly, at times I am frustrated that we are not doing better, but overall I feel so blessed in my life I can deal with this little struggle.
     So let me share about the new fun part of my life. Selling PC has turned out pretty well. Right now I am still working parties for friends, but I have a few people that are interested in booking a party. I love how easy it is to do the party. I am still working on my delivery, but so far feedback seems to be good. I just have to remind myself that a large part of this is having fun, enjoying the company. The products really sell themselves. I have been practicing as I drive, talking about the business. When I signed up I honestly did not think I would try to recruit other people to sell PC, but at a training class I realized that there are others out there like me. They may need to hear about this opportunity so I practiced sharing the things I like about PC. Hopefully I can help someone else who may need to make their ends meet too. I know part of my success will be really sharing what PC does for its hosts. Free products are always fun to get. I do not want a party to be cumbersome for a host, I want them to enjoy themselves. If I ever get to where I am a pushy salesperson, and its all only about the money tell me to quit. Its got to be about the people, having fun, and a great product.  Ok I really did not mean this to become a commercial. Sorry. I am just excited. This has pushed me to become more out going and in some ways I feel I am finding a part of me that has been missing for years. Making myself call people and ask them if they would have a party for me has actually been very freeing.
      I wish I could say my raw diet is going well, but its not there. I am guessing you can see that I am very busy, so planning and making things ahead is really hard. I am still loving my daily smoothie. In fact I think they are why I am able to survive all this busyness. They really give me energy and help me feel better. My cholesterol has dropped significantly. When I had a physical last summer my cholesterol was on the high side and they wanted me to go on a low chol. diet and get it checked again. I went in a couple of weeks ago and when the nurse called with the results I commented that I guess my new diet was working. She responded with " you did this with diet?". She thought it was the result of some medicine. So I know I am on the right track. Now its getting the sugar out of my system again. Oh what a tangled web we weave when dessert and sugar we eat. I was really hoping to be down a size in clothes by my 50th. Its not much but for me it would mean I am on my way to a healthier life. That this will be the year I truly succeed. This stupid struggle I dance with every day is ....? I don't even have the right words. I always have faith that in the end I will be successful...but this part of the journey goes to the depths of me. Its a deep hurt and failure in me that sometimes feels beyond me. Sometimes I feel like the fool that sells his soul for a piece of chocolate when his Father has a palace filled with every treasure imaginable. But its a journey. Bumps, bends, potholes. Soon I am due for a coasting down a long gentle sloping hill.
    Thanks for reading and sharing in my life. When I started this blog, I did not know where I would go with it, I still do not know where its going. I just had the urge to write again. Writing has always been a big part of who I am. So I guess its the first step in Finding me....