Wow so much to think about. Last time I wrote I said I was trying the ADD medicine. For me the jury is still out but I have a lot to think about. The first week I really had no change, but the doctor said to try a higher dose if nothing happened the first week. So I did and I did have a change. I was able to totally clean my kitchen...I mean it was clutter free and it was amazing. But the medicine made me feel extremely jittery and when it wore off I was was not just tired I was exhausted. But not sleeping well. So I am not sure if the medicine was like giving me energy to get things done...and then I had an afternoon crash. Or was it really helping me to think better and get a lot accomplished. I know you are probably saying that I should just keep it up and see how it does, but the jittery feeling is not pleasant and after a few days of it I needed a break, so I reduced the dose for a few days. All I feel now is super tired. But I know I should suck it up and keep at it.
It is now August and our church is doing the Daniel Fast for 21 days. It comes at the same time I am going north to visit family and friends so this should be interesting. At least it should be a little easier as my daughter Sarah will be traveling with me, and she is going to do it too. I know it is going to be a struggle but I have so many areas in my life I need a break through in, I think it is time to really fast and seek God in those areas. Speaking of God, and seeking. I have not done that in a while. I don't know why I have shut down spiritually...running more on autopilot than actually spending time with God. August is the time of year that my church sets aside to spend more time in prayer and seeking God for direction. Each year I look so forward to this time but this year I am not all here. Going to CT this late in the season is getting me off kilter too. So really all I have are questions...no answers. Why am I so tired lately?? Just normal reaction to ending stress of school or is it a reaction to the new medicine? Is taking the medicine worth it? Will it increase my quality of life by helping me to function better at home and work? or was the organizing kitchen day just a fluke? Will I ever work through what is hindering my spiritual life...even if it is just exhaustion can I push past it and fight through? Hopefully time will help me find some answers.
