Well it has been quite a while since I had any energy to write. My journey has been about the same...without energy. I want to live life and not just be a spectator from my couch. But honestly I am tired all the time. I want to go back to the raw diet I was on last fall because I felt sooooo good then, but I just don't have the strength to fight and work on it. But I am attempting to get back on the wagon so to say. I am just doing it without enthusiasm.
OK so what is going on in my life. Right now I am wrapping up teaching summer school. Two more days. Summer school challenges me. I am struggling with getting the students to learn just a few concepts which they should have learned during the school year. The challenge is I want to add some creativity to my teaching....to come up with some fun thing that will turn the light bulb on, but it alludes me. I am taking the opportunity of working this summer to heart and thinking about what I need to do in the fall to be a better teacher. I am starting over (again) in another classroom and on another team. Every fall is a fresh start anyway but new classroom and new team means getting to know new people ( a plus), but it takes time for four people to get used to each other and learn each others strengths and weaknesses. My classroom did not flow well for me last year so I am looking forward to starting again this year and trying to get it set up in a way that helps me to be better organized. Anyone with suggestions or ideas please let me know...I am open:) The big challenge this fall is that Hannah is not going to be around to help me set up my class. Hannah is away in New Zealand having the time of her life and hopefully drawing close to God and learning to follow him deeper in her daily walk I am worried that she still has to raise $3000 for the mission outreach. I have to just trust that if God wants her to go, somehow he will provide for her the funds. Honestly I need Him to come through not just for her, but for me. I feel disconnected and dry, and I need to see Him being faithful to the call in Hannah's life. Ultimately that is between Hannah and God. But lets face it I'm a mom so I worry.
Other than school I have been reading excessively. I love my kindle and am constantly getting new free books. I am trying to not read for a few days because I get nothing done except read. One of my goals this summer is to organize my house and get some of the junk out. Always struggling financially, I tend to hold onto everything, Don is the same way. But it is time. I would love for my home to be clutter free. Personally I doubt I will ever have that house (clutter free), but hopefully I can get the house so that everything has a place. I am going to get rid of items that I have not used for years. Plus I am am trying to clean out the cabinets. The real miracle will come if I get my office area cleaned and organized. My family will attest that it is an impossible task. But the word of God says that all things are possible with God.(Matthew 19:26, Philippians 4:13) So maybe that will be my way of seeing God move in my life...getting an organized house. I know some of you may be thinking I am one brick short of a load...but you are probably one of those people with no clutter on their counters and everything in your house has a place. You can never understand people like me whose brains just can't seem to organize anything larger than a closet. There are days that I actually cry because I don't get why I can't get my house clean and clutter free. Same with my classroom. Thankfully Sarah is nothing like me in that way. She definitely has the Olsen organization clean gene. Hannah on the other hand is me squared. Her room is way worse than my room was (and mine was bad at her age). I want to be different. So much so that I actually went to the doctor because it was suggested to me by one of my pastors that I could have ADD. I am not really sold on the idea, but I have nothing to lose by trying the medicine. Honestly I don't have trouble paying attention and focusing, but I decided to trust the wisdom of my pastor and the doctor. Did I mention I really don't have anything to lose but a lot to gain if it helps? I have been praying for years that God would help me in my struggles getting my house neat, and in my lesson planning. Anything that really requires organization and does not have a "correct" answer so to say is overwhelming to me. What can I say I hope this is the time I will finally get an answer to this prayer. If I could get rid of the clutter...I just feel it will free me from one more link in that chain that weighs me down.
