The first steps.

      The first thing I want to say is thanks for the love and support of my family and friends. Writing a blog is a way to help me process this journey and hopefully encourage someone else along the way. Before I decided to blog I really gave it some thought  because for this to work I have to be honest. Honest with myself and with you. But I believe victory comes with transparency so this is the road I am choosing. As I shared this journey is not just about weight loss but it is about finding the me inside that I have lost along the way. I have found myself thinking about people and thinking I should have them over etc... but I just can't do it. Don and I are really a boring couple. Lol. But we are. I know I can make a good meal but after that I feel like there is nothing to offer. I don't want to just sit around and watch tv but that is what we usually do. I have made a break through lately. Our Thursday night Life-group recently had a Christmas party and at the party we played games. It was a lot of fun and Don said he enjoyed himself. So I got Hubby to agree to be willing to play games with the family more often. So on Christmas we got the game Apples to Apples and we played it all day. It was a lot of fun. So its a start.
        Like many people today Don and I are struggling to make ends meet. We have cancelled our home phone. I know for many of you, you think what's the big deal? But I am old school and I like having a home phone. I'm over it so no sympathy needed. We are thinking of getting second jobs. Don may be working at one of those big stores that sell tools and lawnmowers etc...  I am seriously thinking of selling kitchen items, by doing those home parties. (Oh I know without saying the names you probably know what I mean). We are hoping that this way instead of taking money out of savings each month we can finally put some money back in the bank. Don is going to need a car soon and if we don't save for one its not going to happen.
     Now I have been thinking about selling this home stuff for years because I love it!! I do. But teaching so overwhelms my life that I never have any time. So things I think about: Can I really be better with planning etc... to  have the time to do another job? Do I know of anyone that will even host a party for me? Will I be good at it? Yes I love the product, come see my kitchen, its true. I talk with kids all the time but I am a little wigged out about having parties for adults. I know deep down if I can get through the organizational stuff I think I can be good at this, but I am very shy and hate calling people. THAT is something I will have to get over because you have to call up the person having the party and keep the enthusiasm for having the party up..thats so not me. (I could use your help there Leenie...wish you were here). But then I keep saying I want to change. Since moving to Virginia I feel I am almost hermit like.  I know I need to push myself but I don't want to go the wrong direction and fail again. (See the ping-pong game that is going on in my head?) Yea, scary...but I know some of you have it going on too so its ok. Thats why some of you get me. But I digress. Back to the job, I think I am going to step out in faith and try it. I have actually prayed on it (only this morning, but it still counts) but I feel peace. I am sure it will stress me, but anything that makes you grow usually does. I am hoping that it will help with my goal of getting more social and making friends, as well as helping to relieve our finances. I still have to look into the expenses of this, but I asked a friend who used to sell this and she said she made good money with only doing 2-3 parties a month. So I am game.  Feel free to weigh in with your thoughts on this.
   By the way the food was pretty good today. Almost all raw. Had my shake today, salad for lunch with sunflower seeds. I snacked on a little natural peanut butter. Dinner was homemade guacalmole with chips. I usually prefer skipping the chips and having my guac. on lettuce (yum). But lately lettuce has been very bitter tasting all by itself. I wonder if its the season...not sure, so I went with the chips. I did cheat and have a small bag of potato chips on the way home from the store. I am starting with Biggest Loser at work on Wednesday, and I am still getting (white)sugar out of my system so I let myself have them. Well thats me....at least for today. Hope you have Jesus in your journey he makes the trip worthwhile.